lacrimosa

tearful

aka

lotta

struggle

watercolour on
hand torn arches paper
300 gsm cp fine

17×38 cm
______

sometimes we can only speak through music

HERE

'lacrimosa'
perugina art © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 44

What was it that i wrote in the side bar of this blog..?

I believe it went something like this...

"...it will be recorded here.. good, bad, struggle, triumph, laughter, tears.. with or without inspiration etc.."

No talk of lesson here tonight.. rather i feel i struggle alone at present..

Perhaps after i collect myself, my thoughts, my emotions.. i will be able to write a little more in the next few days.

Nothing to do with lesson specifically and the work, for i enjoy lessons, and know without the hard work dedicating time to this, gains will not be made. I look forward to inching my way towards making a decent sound one day on the violin.. i at least owe it to the beautiful instrument(s) i have in my possession.. and also the faith that one person particularly has placed in me to have passed on his personal violin into my care..

Yes.. it will be recorded here..

and tonight

because i feel this loneliness

my shortcomings re music

and other human failings are being amplified

i feel i'm in an emotional trough

i feel i struggle alone

_____________
donna con il violino blu

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

______________________

my blue violin my heart

i have you here
in my keep
you will never be harmed
rest assured
you will never be alone
this you can trust
you will always remain close
for you are
my heart

my blue violin
has also found me
shhh..
i love you

__
written
14 April, 2010

____________
donna con il violino blu
series of b&w self portraits
with colour focal
photo taken
11 April, 2010

'my blue violin my heart' words & photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 43

harmonic minor scales.. Kreutzer continues.. and a major project..

Lessons forge ahead being an hour in length.

I have been waiting with patience and eagerness to jump into the minor scales which Maestro describes as the ‘dark side’ – oh goody!
I am naturally drawn and pulled toward this sound of music in minor keys and love the emotion they can convey/carry.
So today i experienced playing A Harmonic Minor 2 octaves.

Kreutzer 2 was performed senza musica – without the sheet music (much to his amazement) as i have committed it to memory for all the practice i have done.
Maestro was pretty pleased with my progress despite it being somewhat of a nervous performance for i am still very anxious to play before him.. especially when he sits back in his chair and crosses his legs to listen.
I stressed that i have worked very hard on this to which he replied – ‘it shows’! Mind you, it still sounds a bit like a car crash particularly towards the end with string crossings at this fast tempo and believe me.. it is far from being perfect, he seems pleased however and is happy to have it settle - for he reassures me it will, as i gain confidence and experience.
To my surprise he tells me that my position shifts are fine, what i am struggling with are the notes in first position and i should take care with these.. it’s that dreaded short fourth finger combined ‘death grip’ – merda!

So now we embark on Kreutzer 9 and 13.. i’m keen and he knows this and is therefore pushing forward.

No 9 will reinforce long bows (as we have been practicing with scales) and finger strengthening particularly the 3rd and 4th fingers.

No 13 was kindly demonstrated by him and although difficult, it sounds Heavenly and i want to learn to play this pronto – so exciting!

As lesson concluded Maestro printed up some music sheets being very mysterious about what he was giving me.. saying this would be our long term project.. and although getting the sheets today i am not to try anything (he knows me well) as he will be tackling it in sections with me.
As the printer spat out the 8 pages i had to wait for the last page to be printed when the title of this ‘project’ was finally made known..

La Primavera – Spring
Il Cimento dell’ Armonia e dell’ Inventione – Concerto I
Antonio Vivaldi

I feel so encouraged.. and i am very willing at present to put in the hard work required to realise this dream to play the violin.

_______________
donna con il violino blu

donna con il violino blu

series of b&w self portraits

with colour focal
photo taken
11 April, 2010
__

creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu

lady with the blue violin

series of self portraits with the blue violin

___________

this violin is not a concert violin
it does not have a fancy name or title
it is not prestigious
it does not posses a virtuous voice
but it still has
a heart
and within its body
its heart just wants to be loved

________

il violino blu
is somewhat like me

photo taken
11 April, 2010

__

creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

voce dal cielo in alto

voice from heaven above

series of self portraits
in sepia

___
violin

copy of Stradivarius 'Soil' 1714
an antique violin made by Italian luthier
Antonio Stradivari of Cremona (1644-1737).
by
Scott Cao & S.C.Guan
Artistic Series Handmade Instrument
Xw Qai Wu

formerly owned by
Vov Dylan


photo taken
25 February, 2010
photo location
Sunset Beach, Soldiers Point NSWcreative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 42

My programme regarding violin..

is one where Maestro is trying to expose me to as much as possible within the whole picture of what it is to play the violin.
Then we will come back and tune, tune, tune and fine tune.

I remember asking him from the very beginning to adopt this ‘fast track’ approach with me and he feels that now he has come to know me, this is the best way, as i already come to violin with some very basic musical knowledge.. and i stress BASIC particularly with reading music.

I would rather work out a piece by ear than to labour over reading notes – for it is indeed this.. labouring!

Today i confessed that when i first looked at all the notes crammed together on the page of the Kreutzer 2.. it looked like gibberish, and somehow my brain blocks out the musical notation and refuses to make sense of it.
I do wish to be able to read music as easily as i read writing on a page, and to have that same instant recognition would be quite something i imagine. This however has always been a struggle for me as a child learning the piano and even today and something i fear i will not be able to master.

Anyway.. we touched on this sore topic, (my inability to read music) which i term ‘the wall’, and Maestro can read my face when this area of music is broached, and senses greatly that i have issues with this and therefore states he tries to keep the theoritical side of things to a bare minimum, for he knows i want to enjoy my experience with learning the violin and do not want it to be a repeat performance of the distaster that it was to learn the piano. It seems however there is no avoiding it now .. this is then followed closely by another term i often use for relieving frustration.. merda!Past negative experiences with learning music as a child has done much to discourage me in understanding music structure and theory, obviously i will have to muster much determination to breakthrough this ‘wall’ if i am to fully enjoy the playing/journey in mastering this instrument.

Today there was more work on the K 2 to iron out the kinks, particularly the last remaining bars, as well as sharing in the excitement of Maestro’s new bow.. a copy of a Sartory – he handed me the stick so i could have a test drive while i played the K 2.
Even as a beginner i could feel how beautifully balanced this bow was from frog to tip and how light it was in my hand.
I later sms’d him saying that i was suffering Bow Envy… to which he replied that somewhere out there is a bow waiting for me and that he will help me find one when i say “let’s get one”.

The Kreutzer 2 will now be practiced until the ears of those within range bleed.. i offer to them my sincere apologies… not!

Maestro has asked me to bring in Kreutzer 9 – for we will start working on this next week.
As always i ask him to demonstrate so i can prepare for what is ahead. Getting him to do this can be a struggle.. in plain terms i state, it’s my money and you will do as i ask… he pretends to look shocked – ha!

Seriously.. i so value and appreciate the time he takes in sharing and expressing his passion for what he does, it is infectious and lessons always run overtime as we chat about all things violin!

_____________________

I searched some images of bows and came across this one with the Fleur-de-Lys on the frog which i thought very beautiful.

I have always been drawn to this symbol, perhaps i should consider looking into a bow like this.

Maestro also suggested that my playing style, from what he can tell would perhaps have me more suited to a French style bow.

Well this is all food for thought.. for now anyway.

Violin Bow

Berg Bows

Tourte-Viorin model in ebony with gold Fleur-de-Lys inlay and ornate gold button

weighing 61.3 grams.

______________

This bow was commissioned by Chyn-Jen Liou of Taipei, Taiwan.

Mr. Liou has performed with several U.S. and Taiwan orchestras for over 20 years.
This is the second Berg bow purchased by this valued artist.

___________________

donna con il violino blu

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

without you

donna con il violino blu
lady with the blue violin
series of self portraits
in sepia

_____
violin

copy of Stradivarius 'Soil' 1714
an antique violin made by Italian luthier
Antonio Stradivari of Cremona (1644-1737).
by
Scott Cao & S.C.Guan
Artistic Series Handmade Instrument
Xw Qai Wu

formerly owned by
Vov Dylan


photo taken
25 February, 2010
photo location
Sunset Beach, Soldiers Point NSW
__

creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

without you

donna con il violino blu
lady with the blue violin
series of self portraits
in sepia
_____________

without You
She will not be
please sound Her
don’t leave Her in her case
show Her the light,
let Her sing
so Her voice is heard
keep Her close to you
hug Her
so that She may feel
the warmth of your body
kiss Her
before you lay Her to rest again
do not abandon Her
for without You
She will be in the dark
without You
She will not breathe
without You
Her Heart will not beat
please sound Her
so Her voice is heard
she will not be
without You
_
poem written

6 March, 2010

________
violin

copy of Stradivarius 'Soil' 1714
an antique violin made by Italian luthier
Antonio Stradivari of Cremona (1644-1737).

by
Scott Cao & S.C.Guan
Artistic Series Handmade Instrument
Xw Qai Wu

formerly owned by
Vov Dylan

photo taken
25 February, 2010
photo location
Sunset Beach, Soldiers Point NSW

__

'without you' words © 2010 patricia vannucci creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 41

I’ve had two lessons this week..

One comprising of an hour earlier in the week and today’s lesson a quick half hour session completing the review of Rudolphe’s Number 2.

This is indeed exciting, for now i can crank up the practice sessions with the Study now complete in my head - that is energy permitting due to my chronic fatigue.

A few intense practice sessions this week so far has seen a small breakthrough with thumb placement and that ‘death grip’ and also position changes, the latter still very rough.

Overall the piece seems to be a little more in tune as this small adjustment has made some difference with getting my fourth finger to fall in the right place - there is much work to be done however, and Maestro has told me this is a huge jump (!!!) from the 2nd Grade pieces i was playing. It is what i want to try and the will is there so we are working hard at achieving this together.

Yesterday during practice, the neighbour behind me yelled out.. ‘Use the force!’I don’t speak to these people at all.. so i was a little shocked to hear this man’s booming voice through the open window of my bathroom.. for this is where i practice most times.

Why the bathroom you ask?.. well.. the sound of the violin resonates beautifully in fully tiled areas i found.

Well perhaps it will sound beautiful one day.. for although the sound reverberates about me.. it can be horrid as i fumble and stumble my way through this very difficult piece, and with the window open i guess others within range can hear it also in all its glory!!

At least he yelled out something encouraging rather than some profanity..

See there is hope after all..

___________________

donna con il violino blu


The 42 études ou caprices ("42 études or capriccios") for solo violin were composed by Rodolphe Kreutzer around 1796.
Although Kreutzer was a prolific composer with some 50 stage works and dozens of other pieces to his credit, the 42 études remain his best known work and today are part of standard teaching repertoire.

The earliest extant edition of the collection, from 1807, comprises 40 pieces. Kreutzer's authorship is broadly accepted for two other études that were included in some early editions. One of Kreutzer's most important didactic goals was developing fluency in contraction and extension of the left hand; thus his pieces anticipate the challenges of the modern violin.
Taken from Wikipedia

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

Kreutzer 2 bars 19 -21

lesson 40

the Kreutzer continues..

Today we pushed on getting a little further with reviewing bars 19 – 21 in Rudolphe’s Number 2

________________________

My hand is still locked about the neck of the violin which we have dubbed ‘the death grip’ !
You can fly a flag off the top of my thumb!

My fourth finger will not stretch because of ‘death grip’ and thumb placement or lack thereof!

I keep guessing at position changes rather than employing glissando to find the note.

Insomma.. - e` un disastro!

They say.. things often get worse before they get better – let us hope and pray. Honestly i know it's early days and on the positive side i am doing ok for someone who has only just started violin.

It was noticed i said ‘Jesus’ a lot today.. hope He didn’t mind my calling out so many times.. Maestro said that perhaps i am best calling out for the devil - funny!

Then relayed an interesting story..

I love it when he reveals titbits about History of Violin, breaking the tension of lesson, for there is much between the three of us at the moment, Maestro, Rudolphe and me!
He told of Tartini, and the Devil’s Trill Sonata. This, his most famous sonata was composed after he dreamt of the devil appearing at the foot of his bed playing the violin.

He also told me that Tartini lived in the time of Antonio Stradivari and that he was the first owner of a violin made by the now famous Italian luthier in 1715.*

__________________________________________________
* I would like to make a correction here after Anon was so kind to leave a comment on this post Re Tartini stating he wasn't the first owner of a Stradivarius - he was the first owner of the 1715 "Lipinski Stradivarius" as per Wikipedia.. many thanks to you! :)

_____________________________

photo taken from Wikipedia

Giuseppe Tartini (8 April 1692 – 26 February 1770) composer and violinist, was a half Italian and half Venetian (born in Piran, a town on the peninsula of Istria, in the Republic of Venice - now in Slovenia)

‘ah Venice!’

__________________
donna con il violino blu

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 39

Time for a lesson update..

Lessons have been upped to one hour now!

I felt the need to increase my time with Maestro, as the previous half hour sessions would be over in the blink of an eye - just time to take the instrument out of its case, do a DAGE-G.. a scale, one technical exercise perhaps, starting or revision of a piece from the 2nd Grade AMEB curriculum.. i was finding that just as i was getting comfortable re; playing in front of him, for i still get very anxious, it would be time to pack up.

I have mixed feelings about increasing lesson time, because since doing so some four weeks ago, i have not capitalised on this precious tuition - as i am not practicing nearly enough as i would like.. my head space and heart are struggling.. this is therefore compounding the distress i am feeling at present with the violin.

Still i am trying my best.

Perhaps i am also making it doubly hard for myself.. as 2 weeks ago i made mention of Kreutzer and asked Maestro when i could start cutting my teeth into this?

It was really a throw away question.. one which i expected him to laugh off.. instead.. he asked me whether i had the book of 42 Studies to which i replied yes.

He asked me to bring it along next time to lesson..

This is what i have been struggling with for the last 2 weeks.. i'm finding it a challenge to say the very least.. going from Grade 2 to this!

I remarked, "This may as well be Mount Everest for me..!"

To which he replied, "Nah!.. perhaps just Mount Kosciuszko!"

Well i'm in the thick of it now it seems.. Is there a base camp 1 on Mt Kosciuszko ?

Yesterday during my practice session at home in preparation for today's lesson i sent Maestro this sms as follows...

"I wish i was in SPACE.. for in SPACE no one can hear you SCREAM!

I am struggling with this Number 2.. that's playing, not doing!"

___________________

I know he has a great sense of humour.. lucky for this, as i was told once, this is indeed needed for violin!

Today we inched a little further through this Kreutzer Study Number 2.. Maestro knows i am determined, for when he played this piece for me, i knew instantly this is the sound of the violin that i love, i can't verbalise what i feel when i hear these melody lines.. i do know however within my core being.. it's what i want to be able to do.. despite the struggle at the moment.

___________________

donna con il violino blu

Rodolphe Kreutzer (16 November 1766 – 6 January 1831) was a French violinist, teacher, conductor, and composer of forty French operas.

Kreutzer was well known for his style of bowing, his splendid tone, and the clearness of his execution. His compositions include nineteen violin concertos and forty operas. His best known works, however, are the 42 études ou caprices (1796), which are fundamental pedagogic studies.

Taken from Wikipedia

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu
lady with the blue violin
__________

Why do i call myself by this title?
Well it all started with an artwork.
The one you see as my avatar.

My artistic journey via watercolours has led me to this place which i call.. ‘the beautiful music of the violin’

It was the first watercolour i painted in my other journey through art which is part of a series called

Ladies & the Instruments the Play

Through this humbly and simply painted artwork, which has become my avatar here, i discover that i adopt the title, 'donna con il violin blu', which is the Italian for lady with the blu violin after having acquired a blue violin shortly after deciding to take steps in learning how to play.

___________

The blue violin is one of four violins that i have in my care. I happened to find it by chance walking past a small suburban music shop. I was not looking for another violin to purchase as i already had bought a violin in order to start learning, rather would like to think that this blue violin found me. 

This small music shop was crammed with musical instruments and paraphernalia as most musical shops are. As i stepped in, i immediately headed for the back, deeper and deeper into what seemed a darker and ever narrowing space. My eyes caught that familiar shaped case holding what was a blue coloured violin. Being dark back there, the blue coloured varnish of the instrument seemed to jump out at me. 

Even at a reduced price, it seemed this little blue violin was not wanted. It had been cast and thrown aside on the floor along with other instruments laying there way back in the dark crammed space. Although i had already purchased a violin a month before, when i laid eyes on this little blue jewel, i knew instantly i had to have it in my care.

___________

this violin is not a concert violin
it does not have a fancy name or title
it is not prestigious
it does not posses a virtuous voice
but it still has
a heart
and within its body
its heart just wants to be loved

il violino blu

is somewhat like me

________

The further i venture down this road of music and discover how marvellous the voice of the violin truly is, the more am convinced this was meant to be.

Just as i was guided to this music shop by some Divine power, for i never really travel about much,

in finding my heart through il violino blu, some extremely special people it seems, are also being thrown in my path.

“Here.. look!”.. the Universe says, the Universe is providing you with these Stars..

and Stars they are!

There have been some wonderful people, stars that shine brightly, who inspire, guide, gift and love me through this from the very moment i started.

My mother firstly for inspiring me and for always encouraging me no matter what i chose to do.

These people, like the stars in the Heavens are always there for you, shining brightly especially in dark

for that’s their role.

To Them i now say this..

You all know who your are, thank you dal cuore, from my heart for your support so far.

________________

Although i have lost my heart at present

i am still very grateful for their

inspiration

heart

faith

love

for these are the voices of my four violins

_____________

The struggle is also part of the journey

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

i have been shattered on the rocks

11 March, 2010

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

music has left her

solitary violin

one

image in sepia

perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 38

she always writes her heart it seems

no matter what happens

and this will be no different today

_

music left her last night

her inspiration gone

after harsh sounds were uttered into her sensitive ears

she knows not why she even took a picture of a solitary violin

the violin has many ones associated with it

'one' is lone

perhaps she knew this was to come

at present

music has left her

for she feels abandoned and unloved

she searches for her heart

and in her search

she is lost

and has lost her way home

her voice no longer can sound

music has left her mind

her heart

her soul

_______________

she knows not when it will return

11 March, 2010

___________

this is the week of lesson 38 - 3 + 8 = 11

this was written on the 11th day of March

this violin reached my hands Monday 11 January (01) , 2010

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

i keep you in my embrace

donna con il violino blu
lady with the blue violin

violin

copy of Stradivarius 'Soil' 1714

an antique violin made by Italian luthier

Antonio Stradivari of Cremona (1644-1737).

by

Scott Cao & S.C.Guan

Artistic Series Handmade Instrument

Xw Qai Wu

formerly owned by

Vov Dylan

series of self portraits
in sepia
_____________

photo taken
25 February, 2010

photo location

Sunset Beach, Soldiers Point NSW

__

creative direction patricia vannucci
perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

i will play your heart now

_______________

i will play your heart now

and speak with you through this

making music of the violin

it is only this that remains to me

this is my freedom

i wish to fly high

and fill the air with its sound

as light travels faster however

the sun will get to you first

and my music will need a great wind

to push it northward to you

you will have to silence your mind
for by the time it reaches you

it will merely be a whisper

it matters not however

for i require only the

Breath of the Bow at its tip

to gently sound it in

please hear it

this is all that remains to me

i give it to you

________________

written

7 february 2010

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu
lady with the blue violin


a series of photographic images

inspired by

'il violino blu'
the blue violin

'il violino blu'

perugina photography © 2010 patricia vannucci

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

faith

_______

do you know how to sing a lullaby?

yes you do!

throw away the written music

one practice a week

for a half hour

just play

catch a phrase

a melody

take her for a drive

see where she will take you

it is amazing what you can see and hear

if you just wind down the window

this is me

this is what i do

this is me

perugina

the way i am

when i am

free

-

faith

lesson 29

There are many things that have happened since my last posting here

at some stage i will have to catch up.

A chat on skype last night has prompted this post today.

There have been a few very extraordinary people who i have encountered on this violin voyage, each making their own special contribution in helping me, and i make mention of another here now.

My support person and friend Sergio, who is also a mature beginner in violin, is someone who has recently come into my life, as recently as the violin itself.
he struggles as i do with the instrument, however our passion to master it, is one which ties us.

Each week we have what i have termed, a VICC - Violin International Conference Call over the internet air waves via skype as he is from the tiny island of Malta.

He takes out his notes which he makes during the week 'to prepare' as well as his violin and very patiently and methodically reasons his way through scales and other theory.

We exchange music although due to my lack of computer skills it is rather onesided and it is he who is always sending me music.
We also take it in turn to play for each other to encourage and to hear how we are progressing.

He does not read music but is learning very quickly as he is astute, even learning without a teacher when he first began - which i think is an amazing achievement, i on the other can manage a little, but would rather just play by ear..

Last night i did this for him over skype, i had practiced for a few hours beforehand, a song which reminded me of the dances i used to attend with my parents as a child. This song also happens to be on the cd my maestro launched last week.
the song is Besame Mucho.. which in spanish i believe means kiss me a lot or very much.

Anyhow... i played this adlibbing over the skype exchange after having been inspired by maestro's rendition.

Sergio had replied after i had finished - i do not know how to do that.. play by ear.

The words in reply are those written up top.. faith

Thank you sergio for having faith

i have faith in you

and

ps.. i was told today,

when you find a white feather at your feet,

an Angel watches over you

___________________

donna con il violino blu

'faith'

perugina photography © 2009 patricia vannucci

 

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci

lesson 22

i must be crazy..
taking up the violin at this late stage in life - and have been told so - that's ok...
I'm having fun despite it being a challenge and my maestro is patient and kind and hasn't whacked me over the head with the instrument - this is a positive sign me thinks :) Well maestro tells me he wouldn't be using the instrument in anycase! ;)
This piece is the one i have the most fun playing and as this is my very first video and YouTube upload so i wanted to keep it short.. not knowing how it would come out :) I am also trying very hard not to look at the violin when playing!
This violin is the third i have acquired since starting 22 weeks ago.
It was gifted to me from Spyros Vretos (82 years of age) it has been in his possession since 1970 when he bought it from the Music Distributors Australia in Artarmon Sydney.
Spyros has given away many violins which he has bought and restored during his life, and he too started learning to play the violin as an older student after being inspired by a lady violinist on the boat out to Australia when he migrated.
I feel humbled, privileged and very honored that he has given me this very beautiful violin as a gift.
Spyros, thank you for having faith, for allowing a stranger into your home when i was searching for a teacher, for first introducing me to my violin.
Your gift is treasured, and your extreme generosity always remembered.
dal cuore
perugina
Thursday 5 November, 2009
ps.. i am very shy and when nervous i tend to giggle and sincere apologies for the unglamorous kitchen surrounds.. :/
___________________

donna con il violino blu

donna con il violino blu © 2010 patricia vannucci